The postpartum phase can be scary and intimidating! But it can also be a beautiful time of growth and love with your newest little blessing. Preparing for a few of the hurdles can help you take each battle in stride.
1: Your body is still not your own
People frequently talk about the pregnancy glow and the beauty of carrying your child. I never had the glowing skin that I see in some women, but I did have a sense of love for my changing body and how it was adapting to this wonderful gift. I loved sharing my body with another growing life!
What I was not prepared for was the postpartum body. The baby is in your arms, but the belly is still there. You can’t move in the way you are used to and you can feel weak and frustrated! I wanted an instant return to what I was used to! Unfortunately, that is not reality. I worked out throughout my pregnancy and could do more in the gym when I was 38 weeks pregnant than I could 6 weeks after delivery when I was released for full activity!
It is so important for women to understand it takes time to get back to yourself! Don’t be discouraged. Prepare for a long and slow journey, but motherhood is worth it. Remember, it took 9 months to grow a beautiful human, so give yourself grace to know it will take time to return to where you feel comfortable.
2: Sex feels different
I am a Nurse Practitioner in a women’s health clinic and I frequently see mothers for their 6 week postpartum visit. This is usually the visit we tell moms “Ok you are released for full activity including intercourse!” Over the years I have seen every face you can imagine when this statement is given. Some women are relieved and ready to get busy again. But more frequently, I am faced with a look of horror or worry. I think it is important for women to realize that although it may be safe, you may not be ready! Scar tissue and vaginal dryness can cause discomfort and pain. This is not fun for anyone!
Breast feeding can lead to vaginal dryness for the entirety of your breast-feeding journey. You may need more lubrication than you had in the past (my favorite recommendation is coconut oil)! You may also need to talk with your provider about some vaginal estrogen cream to help. The good news is, with time this almost always improves, and your sex life will be back!
3: Postpartum depression and baby-blues are not rare
I could write a whole article on postpartum depression, but that is for a later date! Today I want to focus on the frequency and that it will likely affect you! Again, preparation is key to planning for the emotional rollercoaster that will be headed your way. After delivery of your baby, your estrogen and progesterone levels plummet. With this comes instability in your mood and emotions. 80% of women will experience baby blues! So really you are in the minority if you don’t. 1 in 7 women will deal with postpartum depression. A big difference between the 2… baby blues usually last 2-3 weeks and the symptoms of depression are more serious. Check out this great article for early warning signs of postpartum depression.
Most importantly, reach out to your OB to discuss how you are feeling. If your symptoms are lasting longer than 2 weeks or progressively getting more serious it is time for a visit. We are here to help! Remember this is not a weakness or parenting flaw, but an obstacle of giving birth. It is also important to talk to your partner about this before you give birth! Baby blues can be overwhelming for a partner, and they don’t understand what is going on. Another set of eyes on you and watching for worsening symptoms can also be very helpful.
4: Breastfeeding is HARD
I rarely meet a mother that does not have intentions to breastfeed after delivery, but I also think we need to talk more about the uphill battle it can be for so many! We have all seen the beautiful mom that gracefully breast feeds her baby under blanket without a care in the world. I remember thinking, sure I can do that no problem! What I wasn’t prepared for was the sore, scabbed nipples, the poor latch problems and the refusal to nurse from a 2 month old baby shortly after I thought we finally figured it out!
Breastfeeding in public? Now that was a real adventure and definitely not graceful like I have seen so many seasoned moms. Breastfeeding is not for everyone, and that is ok! But if you are prepared for the battle you are likely to stick it out knowing that most women face these hurtles and it does get better! Most likely your hospital has a lactation team so definitely take advantage of that resource!
We all know that this does not cover all battles that new moms face. But I do know that when we talk about our own struggles, it can make it easier for other moms! Enjoy this new phase of life Momma! Check out helping women for more helpful articles for women and mothers!
Great information Lisa! So helpful ❤️